Return to Relationship Forum. Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 4 guests. Psychology and Mental Health Forum. Our partner. Forum rules. Girlfriend has slept with over 50 men. I am 31, and since 19 have been in two long-term relationships one for six years, one four — the latter an engagement that ended two years ago. My girlfriend is 30, and has been single since she was 21 barring a few very brief relationships. In this time she told me she has slept with over 50 men, but she says has lost count.

I want to work on getting this connection, but if I am number something, how can sex mean to her what it means to me? During the 18 months I was last single I had many opportunities to sleep with girls. My girlfriend says she was eager for a relationship during her single years — and so slept with a lot of guys for this reason.

She says that being lonely made her seek sex, either with friends or guys she only just met, be it out at bars or online. I want to reiterate that I know this is MY issue, and not hers.

My Girlfriend Slept With Too Many Guys In The Past! What Should I Do?

I do not in any way want her to feel bad about this, nor should she. As I told her: they were choices she made in her past, and she would not be where she is today without making them.

I care a lot about her — we have much in common and a lot of similar thoughts about the future. I also trust her completely — that is not a problem at all.

I just find it hard sometimes when I look at her when we are together and think that over 50 men have been inside her. I suppose part of the feeling is a bit of sadness. I care about this girl, and want things to work. But I worry that sex can never be the special part of our relationship that it has always been for me. Part of me really wants this to work out, but another part worries I will not be able to deal with this difference between us.

She deserves to be with someone who is accepting of this issue — I hope that person is me, but I am struggling right now. I really appreciate you reading this, and would really welcome all responses while I try to sort my head out over this. It's why I am writing this on here. Thank you, Josh. Re: Girlfriend has slept with over 50 men.

JoshSnow wrote: She deserves to be with someone who is accepting of this issue — I hope that person is me, but I am struggling right now. JoshSnow wrote: My girlfriend says she was eager for a relationship during her single years — and so slept with a lot of guys for this reason. I'm a woman of age I've slept with approximately 50 guys since the age of Yes, I've lost count.

I don't feel that the previous response is positive. But anyway.It isn't unusual to want to know more about your girlfriend's past. Many people don't know the full story when it comes to their lover's past. Some people are more open about talking about their past relationships than others.

Some prefer to leave the past in the past, and some like to embrace their past experiences. Sometimes learning about what your girlfriend was like in the past will make you uncomfortable, so it could wind up being detrimental to dig too deep. For instance, you might discover that your girlfriend has had far more lovers in the past than you. This information could shock you at first, and some men have a hard time getting over this revelation. If your girlfriend recently told you that she slept with a lot of different men in the past, would you be fine with it?

What should you do if you learn about your girlfriend's sexual history and find out that certain things make you uncomfortable? Read on to examine this topic from different angles so that you can come to your conclusion. Before moving forward, you might want to consider whether you might be overreacting to the number of lovers that your girlfriend has been with in the past.

What seems like a large number to some people might appear to be perfectly normal to others. Some people only have one lover their entire life, and others might wind up sleeping with more than one-hundred people before all is said done.

Can you really say "my girlfriend slept with too many guys in the past" if she has only had twenty lovers? Is that a high number, or is it simply normal or average for people in modern society? Hearing that your girlfriend has had more than one-hundred lovers might make you feel a bit uneasy. It is possible to hear a number that will surprise you and make you think twice about things.

It's normal to feel strange when hearing about your girlfriend's sexual history. You want to be able to feel like you matter to her, and learning that you're one of many might harm that perception.

Just try to understand that you don't need to make her feel bad for having many lovers in the past. Should this matter to you? The biggest problem with learning about your girlfriend's sexual past is that it can make you feel less special. Hearing that she has been with a large number of different men makes you feel as if you are just one of several relationships that she has experienced in her life. If her number of lovers is particularly high, then you might even wonder whether she will want to move on from you eventually.Recently, a reader sent me some questions about what guys really think that I felt compelled to find the answers to.

Today, I'll let you know what I found out about Part 2 of her questions. She wrote: My question is about sex and one night stands.

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How okay are one night stands in today's world? I feel like they are just as common as anything, but are they? And if they are, how do guys feel about girls who have them? Is that something you disclose in a relationship or just let it go? Along with that question I also really want to know how many sexual partners is acceptable for a girl to have in a guy's opinion. Yesterday, we went over guys' opinions on one night stands, so today we're dealing with the number of sexual partners a girl might have.

Again, I'm going to start with my opinion: The acceptable number of people for you to have slept with is the amount of people you felt comfortable sleeping with.

My Girlfriend Has Slept With 40 Guys

And actually, even if you regretted sleeping with one or more of those people, there's nothing you can do to change the past so you might as well accept it. I understand that people have different feelings on what is appropriate for themselves, which is fine, but anyone who can't accept your choices and your past?

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Deal breaker for YOU. I've been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years, and neither of us knows how many partners the other has slept with. I trust that her count is more than 2 but less than Only a handful of partners is ideal, but I can compromise for the right girl. If television and romantic comedies are to be believed, girls round down and guys round up. To be fair I have a friend who tells me their number is in the s. Which makes me feel like I need a drink.

That, in anyone's case, is probably a little too high. I wouldn't worry about a number unless they were telling me they used to be in porn.

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I don't see a clear cut off, and certainly not at the levels that American women seem to freak out at. I guess maybe at over 25 if you are dating you might start to wonder why they haven't slept with you already, which is unfair but that is quite a lot --beyond what could be considered having a phase of discovery and more a question mark of if long term relationships are their thing. An acceptable' number is whatever number that particular girl feels comfortable with.

I am good with a female having similar stats. But low numbers indicate less experience and more repressed craziness. And high numbers mean that the craziness may have been expressed but there is a higher chance of HPV. Kind of a wash. Meaning I wouldn't want a persons 'meaningless' sex number to overrule their 'meaningful' sex number.

Catch I'm also not into a woman that's been in love hence made meaningful love too many times So that number is probably fairly low. What do you think of these answers? Do you care how many women a man has slept with? Topics dating guys hooking up men sex what men really want what men think what men want.The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion! Girl's Behavior.

I found out that my girl has slept with over 20 guys. This really bothers me and disgusts me. I really care about her but I'm not sure I could ever feel comfortable with this. Honestly, I think I'd be afraid to even sleep with her. What should I do? And I didn't really ask her. She kept talking about all these guys she had been with against my will and so I finally did question her to how many she had been with.

Either way I would have thought she would have more respect fo. Share Facebook. Girlfriend has slept with a lot of guys.

Add Opinion. Well I'm a guy in my twenties and I've been with a lot of girls and now that I'm in a relationship I'm faithful and I haven't shared all that info with my girl because I don't want her to judge me on my past I believe one should never ask a question they don't really want the answer to I think all you can do is try to put it out of you mind Darlingman Xper 5.

Well, the problem really lies in your court my friend. Though, if she kept throwin it at you without prompts, and you aren't comfortable with that, I do think you have a right to being annoyed about that. But don't shame or think less of her for god's sake, people should be proud and happy with their sexualities, so long as they are responsible and respectful about the things that they do.

I think the question you need to ask yourself is why does this bother you?Hi, I am a student who goes to Texas A and M University and I met the most amazing woman of my dreams about 7 months ago. She is everything that I could want in a wife, but she has a past that I have been struggling with ever since we started dating when she told me everything.

I know I was meant to love this woman, but I am tired of her past still bothering me. It is not fair to my girlfriend or myself for her past always bothering me. Also, she was sexually molested by her grandfather constantly from 4 to 6 years of age. Once she became a teenager, she was in 3 different relationships with guys who she gave oral sex to many times because she wanted to feel loved.

She never felt truly loved as a child and I know that some of these later actions may have been caused by her difficult childhood without a father. Finally, she got into a fourth relationship with a guy who was not a very good guy at all. My girlfriend later found out that he had had sex with 32 previous women. Anyways, she gave him oral sex as well, but he kept asking her to have sexual intercourse, so she finally gave in and lost her virginity to him. Once they began having sex, she took plan B on two different occasions because their condom had broken.

Consequently, she got on a birth control pill. She finally broke up with him, and I finally met her through church. She never felt loved, but always felt used in these relationships. I know all she wanted was to be loved, so that is why she did all these sexual things with these men. She has told me over and over how sorry she is for what she has done, and we both feel like we will become married one day.

My Girlfriend Has Many Guy Friends

I truly do love this woman with all of my heart and soul! It just kills me and hurts my heart knowing that several other men have USED my future wife for their sexual pleasure in a way that I cannot stop visualizing in my head.

Her future husband should be the only man who shares such intimate sexual experiences with her, no one else. I feel that one of the reasons I have such a tough time with her sexual past is the fact that I do not have a sexual past at all. My girlfriend is the only woman that I have loved. She will be all of my first and last sexual experiences, but I will not be any of her first sexual experiences.

My questions are, 1. How can I begin to not think about or imagine what my girlfriend did sexually for those other men? Is there something I can do to help me accept that she will always have those many sexual memories and experiences with those other men? I truly do know I was meant to marry this women, so breaking up is not an option.My girlfriend and I just moved in together and I have been really happy in this relationship.

She is great and I really see a future for us, maybe even marriage. A week ago we were talking about our college days and she told me that while she was in school, she slept with about 40 guys. I was floored. I told her I was very upset and needed space, so she has been staying with a friend. I feel like I'm with someone's sloppy seconds and I can't get the thought out of my head. What do I do? I really hope you didn't tell her that she was sloppy seconds. What number would have been OK with you?

You have to ask yourself what it is about the number "40" that bothers you. Would 30 have been different? How many is too many? You've said that you're happy and see a future together, so what has really changed?

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Right now you're judging your girlfriend based on her past actions, which until now have not affected your view of her personality or character. I'm wondering, would the number have bothered you as much if she were male? Are you holding your woman to an outdated, sexist standard?

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She seems OK with her past and trusted you to share the information. Why aren't you OK? We should love our partners for who they are, not who we want them to be.

This Is What The Number Of People You’ve Slept With Says About You

While you may not like her previous sexual history, you need to accept it — and let it go — if you really want to share a future with her. Here's another way to look at this: Considering her experience, you should be flattered she's chosen to be with you. Tags: Ask Athenasex. Showing 1- 2 of 2. Comments are closed.This advice is just bad, do the math it's 2. There was a study done about infidelity, how much of it is genetic, influenced by partners count, etc.

Guess what the past is the past, but it still matters and have influence for both present and future. The name is long you can buy it if you are interested, its "Genetic Influences on Female Infidelity and Number of Sexual Partners in Humans: A Linkage and Association Study of the Role of the Vasopressin Receptor Gene AVPR1A " Long story short, everyone has the past, but most of us are not forced to do those things and are well aware that it will influence our lives in the future, drunk guy who drives drunk and causes an accident, sure as hell wants to forget it and leave past as past, but as my parents always told me "think about consequences, before you do something".

Most men dont like girls with high partner count, heck i dont think that many girls like men like that. In fact as a male i dont care if my friend slept with 10 oror 10, girls, good for him, im not fazed by that, i dont like men, i dont care what they do, my attention is towards girls, because im attracted to them i think about them in sexual and intimate way.

If men are looked differently in this term, its because women have different preferences and tendencies. I dont know what men women prefer, but i know which women i do prefer, plus in fact everyone knows that its extraordinary easy for women to get laid, there are lots of research and tests done. Thus there are a lot more virgin males, then females. Its logical that average girl have more partners than average not ongoing, shy etc guy. I'm old fashioned I broke up with a girl because even with her long term relationships after they broke up she went back to sleeping around.

So honestly it's up to you. And yes she did start sleeping around after we broke up. So some people never change I broke up before she could hurt me. I could not live with this, how old she is? It would slowly eat me away. Our past is not just "past" its connected to our present, our future, etc. Before doing something you should think about consequences, in the future, present and so on, everyone does mistakes or have past decisions they regret, but repeating that times? It looks silly that men are concerned about partner count so much, but it does matter, there are even some research done about this, how it influences relationships etc, but from my personal standards and morality i would feel disgusted.

Boogiefever yeah its gross. His name is clover and the book is called Cellar by Natasha Preston. Frannydgaf1 nah why would i read a book?


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